Monday, December 22, 2008

FUCK ENTROPY.

Entropy is abbreviated as a capital S by physicists and such.


FUCK ENTROPY.


But really why fuck entropy? It’s going to win right? I mean heat death of the universe followed by canned applause. We rape the past to justify the future and the whole time pray to the man-jesus that only the homos get AIDS and brown people won’t date our daughters and our little worlds will be forever shored up by belief and then we wonder why the world is constantly falling apart? So, yeah it’s going to win, but remember playing Mortal Combat when after you got your ass kicked by your buddy who had the manual and knew all the codes and stuff, that he could like reach into your chest and pull your heart out and some underpaid intern would yell “Fatality!”



Well fuck that. Spit right in entropy’s fucking eye and when we’re screaming into the abyss at least we can yell, “Well at least my heart is still in my chest you damn AIDSy homo!”

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Unicorns Love you. No really. They do.

No lie.


The Unicorn Code
1)Unicorns never lie.
2) Unicorns always lend a helping hand.
3) Unicorns are loyal.
4) Unicorns can keep a secret.
5) Unicorns don't use drugs.
6) Unicorns don't steal another person's email password and spread the Unicorn Code
7) Unicorns Shift the paradigm, in your face.
8) Unicorns' heads can detach. When they do, blood squirts out of the neck and the unicorn dies.
9) Unicorns were there when Jesus died. They looked at him and were all like, "Dude! What the fuck?!" and Jesus was all like, "Save me Unicorns!" and the Unicorns were like, "No dice Jesus. You made your bed, now you lay in it!" and Jesus was all like, "Arrgh!!! Now im dead!" Later that night, the Unicorns crapped on his tomb.
10) Unicorns saw your Uncle touch you when you were a kid... they saw and did nothing. :(
11) Unicorns are notorious dicks.
12) Donkeys are aborted Unicorns
13) Unicorns Euthenize they old and sickly... on game shows.
14) Unicorns ride to work on a magic rainbow. At work, they are berated by their boss all day. "Unicorn! I'm paying you to work, not daydream! Unicorn! Where is that work I told you to write hours ago!? Unicorn! What the hell is your problems!?" After work, Unicorns fly back home on their magic rainbows. At home they sit in their chair and look at their stupid wives and their retarded children. Later that night they hang themselves.