The Hoggy's Challenge: Anton E-mail

I totally spanked the Hoggy's challenge for my birthday. Anton was excited.

"If you complete the hoggy's challenge than you will receive a stupefied stare and a startled gasp from me followed by one (1) high-five along with dry heaving and crying while muttering "An affront to god... that was an affront to god and all that is holy... I... I renounce you god, how can I be expected to believe in you after that! Damn my eyes! Someone... anyone... pass the meat sticks. Mmmm, meat." I assume that Matt or John or someone will try to comfort me but I'll be all like, "No, it’s ok Jack (that’s what the cool kids call people they know, don't ask me why). I've had a good life." At this point I'll stand up dramatically and put on my leather jacket and aviator sunglasses dramatically and push my chair in considerately. "Catch you cats on the flip-side." and then I'll walk outside, jump on some guys motorcycle and try to ride off into the sunset but as I'm about to leave the parking lot some little unattended kid comes off to me and says, "Don't leave us mister. Please don't leave." And I’ll be all like, "Sorry kid, it's too late for me. Here, hows'about I jump those 10 cars as I leave." And the kid's all like, "Sure, whatev', I'm bored now." and then I'm all like, "Prick." And then I go to do the jump, the bike catches on fire, I miss the jump and crash and die screaming like a startled little girl.

So yeah, go ahead and do the hoggy's challenge. See what happens, jerk.

P.S. Whatever happens, I stand by my high-five. 'Cause finishing the challenge would be Awesome."