What the Fuck Are We Learning from the Learning Channel?

Here's one day's worth of programming from TLC, THE LEARNING GODDAMN CHANNEL.

How much 48 hours and Jon and Kate and little girls in tiara's do we need? Did I miss the police women seminar in fucking college? What the fuck are we learning here?

12:00 am
(60 minutes)
Police Women of Broward County Hell of a Cop TV-14 (DL), CC The four tough-talking Police Women of Broward County battle crime as Andrea tackles a drug dealer twice her size, Ana outsmarts a stripper with some drugs to hide, Julie goes undercover as a prostitute and Shelunda investigates a bloody fight.
1:00 am
(60 minutes)
Moving Up Broken Hearts and Fresh Starts TV-PG Newlyweds, Olivia and Andrew, are moving to New Jersey. Though Andrew is not your traditional handyman, he is excited to tackle the home renovations. Grace, who is still mourning the loss of her husband, attempts to move on with her 17-year old son.
2:00 am
(60 minutes)
Police Women of Broward County Another One Bites the Dust TV-14 (DLV), CC Andrea stops a woman who claims wind blew marijuana into her bra; Ana takes down a drug dealer who's selling dope out of his mom's house; Julie arrests two rape suspects and goes on the hunt for a third; Shelunda pulls over a woman who can't stop crying.
9:00 am
(60 minutes)
Moving Up Red Hot Sass Meets College Class TV-G, CC Excitement, irritation, and exhaustion all mix together in Apex, North Carolina, as three young couples move in to their new homes and adjust to their new lives. Doug Wilson joins these families as they cope with the stress of moving and having babies.
10:00 am
(60 minutes)
Moving Up Color Clash TV-PG, CC Advertising execs Keesha and Yves hate art-loving Ernesto?s brightly colorful bachelor pad, and while they both agree that the pea green and canary yellow walls have to go, there?s a battle of wills over whether to whitewash the house?s history.
11:00 am
(60 minutes)
Moving Up Beige Be Gone TV-G, CC Long-distance and familiar relationships are put into question as three couples move up in New Jersey. Host Doug Wilson coaches them as they struggle to redecorate their new homes without alienating their significant others along the way.
12:00 pm
(60 minutes)
Moving Up Broken Hearts and Fresh Starts TV-PG Newlyweds, Olivia and Andrew, are moving to New Jersey. Though Andrew is not your traditional handyman, he is excited to tackle the home renovations. Grace, who is still mourning the loss of her husband, attempts to move on with her 17-year old son.
1:00 pm
(60 minutes)
Police Women of Broward County Let's Get the Next Customer TV-14 (D), CC Andrea forces a drug dealer to spit out the evidence; Julie brings in a suspected statutory rapist; Ana chases a perp through the night; and Shelunda breaks out her fingerprinting kit to gather evidence after a robbery.
2:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence The Enemy Within TV-PG (V), CC A soldier from the Army's elite 82nd airborne unit was sentenced to life for murdering an African American couple in North Carolina. This was a racially motivated crime that launched the Army's largest investigation into extremism within the ranks.
3:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Right or Wrong? TV-PG (V), CC Susan Wright, a stay-at-home mother from Houston, Texas stabbed her husband, Jeff, 193 times. She claimed she was a victim of domestic abuse and Jeff attacked her, yet she took five days to report the crime, and she'd buried Jeff's body in the backyard.
4:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Killer Next Door, The TV-PG (V), CC Donald Miller, criminal justice major in college, was sentenced to 30 to 50 years for rape and attempted murder, but was suspected in the unsolved murders of four other local young women. Miller agreed to work with police to recover his memories.
5:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Terror at the Morgue TV-PG (V), CC Doctor O.C. Smith, a Memphis, Tennessee medical examiner was apparently attacked on June 1, 2002, as he was leaving work. He was found wrapped head-to-toe in barbed wire with a bomb strapped to his neck.
6:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Secrets from the Grave TV-PG (V), CC Bill was involved in an ugly custody dispute with his ex-wife, Cassandra, over their child. About two years after the divorce, Bill survived an ambush attack by Cassandra's brother and her new husband and almost died in a suspicious on-the-job accident.
7:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Puppet Master TV-14 (V), CC A report on the marriage of Heather and Ron Samuels, who, even after divorcing, were involved in a bitter custody battle.
8:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Abducted TV-14 (V), CC Focuses on the accounts of two abductions that sparked a worldwide search
9:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Addicted to Love TV-14 (V), CC When police arrived at the Franklin, Tennessee apartment of Lesa Buchanan on the Fourth of July weekend in 2005, they were surprised by what they found in her home: a cache of prescription drugs and sex toys
10:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Boston Strangler TV-14 (V), CC "The Boston Strangler" - a report on a new investigation of a 1964 murder case, evaluating new evidence that suggests that Albert DeSalvo, thought to be the Boston Strangler, may not have been the infamous killer.
11:00 pm
(60 minutes)
48 Hours: Hard Evidence Abducted TV-14 (V), CC