Behold, my cavalcade of nonsense! : A review of the Creation "Museum"

Hello my fellows,
Let me ask you a question? Why not. Here we go. Why did I go to the creation museum? Answer: Because.
Now I know what you are thinking: "Sir, why are you sooo awesome and hansome?" Well I say to you, "No! Not now. I'm talking. If you high-five, do I not give it up? Hell yes! Keep your pants on ladies. Gentlemen, calm down and drink your beers."
...right...so... lets see here. If I were running the creation museum there would be some changes. For starters, all the dinosaurs, save a few noble souls, would be cyborgs. I figure, "If I'm going to be doing nonsense, why not go all the way?" Why not? Good question.
The dinosaur resistance is lead by Captain Winky Raxsor. He a kind dinosaur (He only eats the old and the infirm) who leads through example and has an eye patch that totally makes him look dangerous but he actually is a bit of a crybaby and he whines a lot and smells like pineapples. His second in command is Flip-kick Nelson or Lord Nelson as he calls himself when he is practicing kissing in the mirror when he thinks no one is watching but someone always barges in and he's all like, "Lord Nelson, would you like a kiss? Oh yes Lord Nelson, that would be grand. Mmmm...(kiss)...? Johnson!? What the hell are you doing here? How long have you been standing there? Well, either you leave now or I'll leave, but I'm not taking off this wig."
Flip-kick Nelson is a good fighter and prefers to fight with knives and machetes. He also has this problem where he can't help but to narrate everything he does in battle out loud. This makes fighting difficult sometimes since he often announces what he is about to do before he does it. He is kind of a jerk and hates kittens.
These two intrepid freedom fighters fight against the evil cyborg dinosaur king 'Lord Dino-Tron 2.2' and his evil cyborg dinosaur minions 'The Roudy Bunch'. Their creed is, "Robot bits make everything better. OBEY OR BE...(bzzzzzt)...DESTROYEDED!"(The last part is screamed in a monotone robot voice, kinda like stephen hawking if he were a dinosaur instead of the smartest man alive baby, boo-yes!).
This is the museum that I would create.
I would say, "People, look... This is science: accept it, buy a ticket and enjoy the laser show at the end of the exhibits."
Instead of "The Creation Museum" I would call it, "Dino-Catastrophe Memorial Land"
Then maybe people wouldn't say I'm wasting my time and stuff...hurting my feelings and what-not.