Dear Beer Companies,
I am sorry. You see I got married and moved in with my new wife. I know this seems radical given my history with you guys but it happened. I have no excuses for my actions. Please, please, please do not punish other beer drinkers for my infidelity. I know the incredible verve with which I imbibed was a cornerstone of your economic plan. I also understand that my lack of excessive drinking during the week on work nights has hurt you, but this?
"The looming price hike comes as sales volumes in the brewing industry have declined. Anheuser-Busch InBev said earlier this month that total beer volumes were down 1.5% in the second quarter versus the same period last year."
Surely there is another way. Maybe we can work out a schedule of visitation for weekends and every other Thursday and you can have me on Thanksgiving, Halloween, the 4th of July, Labor day, Memorial Day, and Arbor Day. I'm begging for you to forgive me and to no longer punish my friends and colleagues who still love you.
Love in Christ,
Justin
Time Line:
2/6/09 Justin Gets Married
4/1/09 Beer companies enter a slump and begin raising prices
this is not a coincidence
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment