God I HATE paranormal romance. The only thing worse than a goddamn cheesy-ass crotch-rubber is a goddamn cheesy-ass crotch-rubber where the main character is a bastardized monster. That goes for Twilight too. Damn kiddie authors taking perfectly good monsters and making them "less evil" and more "mysterious". "Lets make them sparkle in the daylight as opposed to burst into flames. They can eat animals instead of people too, oh and he's not undead so its not necrophilia. Now theres no drawback, he's just uber sexy and you can desire him without it being weird, and this dark mysterious stranger can love you back." FUCK...THAT....NOISE. Thanks to this shit we got kids dressin up in fake fangs, callin themselves "Baron von Vampyr" and drinkin Clamato Juice so they can feel "special" and "sexy" and something more than a shitty ass teenager who can't get a goddamn date . Vampires are soul-less walking corpses that feed off of humans like cattle. Thats right Vamp kiddes, your not a romatic love interest you're a goddamn cheesburger on two legs. Vampires don't want to love you, they don't think you're the love they have longed for since the dawn of time and they sure as hell aren't gonna sleep with you. He's gonna be all sexy and when your stupid ass falls for all his crap he's gonna rip your damn throat out and laugh and your stupid ass for thinking you could be a vampire. You know what happens to vampires? They get staked in the chest with an ash stake while they sleep, then their mouth get stuffed with garlic and their head gets lobbed off and the villagers throw you a goddamn party for sending that infernal soul-less monstrosity back to hell. If your a vampire you should be decimating small villages by using the pesants as a damn martini shaker and I should be able to cook hamburgers off yer ass if you're out in the daylight. God I hate paranormal romance.
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Hell yeah!!!!
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